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The point was that if you want to date a smart, strong, successful man, his greatest concern isn’t necessarily whether you have a Masters’ degree, speak a second language, or have a summer home in the Hamptons. Most men ultimately gravitate toward women who make them feel sexy, funny and trusted. Do you run from anything that seems stable because it seems boring? Compatibility is about respect, first and foremost.That does not mean that men are not attracted to the female version of themselves. The problem isn’t whether such men will like you or understand you. If you like running, and I don’t, we can be perfectly happy together – as long as you don’t judge me for not running and I don’t try to stop you from running. Runners and artists and surfers and actors and musicians and doglovers are often attracted to those who have the same hobbies.I’ve always been an artist myself, but have NEVER appreciated men with these qualities.I feel good about this new development, as I think it means I have more self-confidence, am less competitive, and just long for someone who understands the pros and cons of being creative for a living.I spent 35 years chasing the female version of me – intellectual, liberal, passionate, opinionated; it just never WORKED, that’s all. The problem is whether your weaknesses will exacerbate each other. Except these hobbies are not (or at least should not be) the things upon which your marriage is based.Two doglovers that don’t know how to communicate are doomed.There’s just one big thing I can’t seem to grasp: Is there a difference between compatibility and commonalities?I’ve recently become interested in the artistic, sensitive type men.

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Hi Evan, I’m new to your site and advice, but I’m already hooked on your refreshingly honest advice and wisdom.

I’ve read “Why He Disappeared”, and searched for some answers on your blog.

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Everyone has a soul mate — at least that’s what fairytales would have us believe.

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  1. How Important Are Common Interests in a. language as a common interest. Interests are fine for dating but other things. 3 years we have common interest.

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