Soif someone can’t enhance my life or add value to my life, and if they don’t share my values, I am not interested.” Q BVIOUSLY THERE’S NO EXACT SCIENCE TO SUCCESSFUL DAT-ing and mating. I’ve no doubt that the men reading this story will respond to that anecdote with, “What’s wrong with that? Women are often accused of being too picky, but at least we have some standards.But as we grow older, those standards can harden into impenetrable and unrealistic barriers that screen out all but the non-existent Mr. “You can be guilty of setting your expectations too high,” says Lisa Le Master, 41, president of Fairchild Le Master Oppel, a media training and crisis communications firm, “and that’s a quick way to find yourself alone.If every date has to be the man you are going to marry, it puts too much pressure on him and on you.” It’s easy to find those unspoiled dates when you’re younger, when background is simply where you grew up and where you went to college.But as we get older, all of our stories get too long and our baggage too heavy.
Her date told her to knock herself out and order anything on the menu.“Men are still seen as ’bachelors,’ but women are ’old maids.’ People even start questioning your sexual preference if you aren’t married. “ The End of Saturday Night Fever ROGER ALBRIGHT, 43, A DALLAS ATTORNEY WHO HAS NEVER BEEN married, believes it’s more common now than ever for people to stay single into their 30s and 40s.But he acknowledges that many people, especially married people, do think there’s something wrong with anyone who reaches their 40s without marrying.Working the numbers through your mind, you realize that you are 15 or 20 years older than that cute guy or girl across the bar. e;rplace now, and you have entered the Twilight Zone of Dating. Like the sweet couple in Beetlejuice, forever doomed to the same old haunts, all you need is a guide to the other side to find your way.And here it is-a glossary of advice to the date-worn from survivors and experts in the trenches.Using his own anecdotal evidence, Albright maintains that the growing number of never-marrieds is a Yuppie phenomenon and a sign of the times.Like the characters on “Seinfeld,” he and his single friends have been busy at work and at play.“When you get to be my age and you have gone out on a limb and not been married and settled down and done the traditional things, you have an extended family and friend -ships. In your 20s, you needed a date to have something to do or because you were looking for someone to take care of you. while others cook up Frankenstein’s monster, But veteran daters and those who have escaped the circuit offer these bits of advice. A male friend once shared his dating criteria with me, leaving me slack-jawed and in awe that men and women ever connect.Well, I have plenty to do, and I know I can take care of myself. These requirements, he said, were simple: earrings had to be smaller than a 50-cent piece and the woman could have no cats and no more than two dogs.But by the mid-’80s, dating attitudes began to change.Many women were growing tired of being perceived only as sex objects, and the fear of AIDS had cooled the fires of many once-ardent daters.