So he stayed ‘married’ to me until I [could support myself]….That’s a long time to be legally married to someone that has clearly moved on (he moved in with his girlfriend after about a year).You will not be cast as #3; it's more likely that husband #1 will be pushed to the background. Unless you plan to share your bed with this guy, he shouldn't get a vote about whom you might date.If you like her, tell your friend to mind his own business and date her. Dear Duana, I’ve gotten involved with three women I met online in the last year, only to find they were all still married. It makes a lot of sense when you see it from their side.* People need love, or at least some contact.I had asked each of them whether their divorce was final before meeting in person, and they all said yes! Many studies confirm that isolation doesn’t just make us miserable, it can literally make us ill.Do I need to see finalized legal papers before I can meet someone for coffee? So imagine you’re lonely in a marriage—and then you find out that because of a vast array of legal, financial, parenting, and partner issues, the divorce itself is going to take years: “[There’s a] mandatory 2-year separation period in our state….Dan Dear Duana, I’m a single mom, and I’ve been set up with another single parent who is ‘not quite divorced’. Should I suggest he contact me when the divorce is final? He got an apartment, and still came ‘home’ after work for months to help put our two young children to bed as neither of us emotionally was ready to tell the kids.
But there aren’t many studies addressing why the not-quite-divorced are dating.
And evolutionarily speaking, women might accurately feel they are running out of time; with every decade past men’s 20s, guys who can snag ever-younger partners do, leaving straight women of their own cohort short of available mates: “….[My now-ex] said I had no right to date because we were ‘still married’, ha!
We were only ‘still married’ because he was refusing the divorce!
We said we would take it up when the divorce was complete, and the house was sold. They even had another baby after we had our relationship.” I don’t know the two (or three) people in that relationship, but what happened was not an ‘imminent’ divorce.
What happened was nearly 20 more years of some level of commitment from the woman’s husband. Start by realizing that just because dating can make a lot of sense to those who are divorcing, doesn’t mean it makes sense for you to date them.