Hilarious dating profile examples

I’m a great singer, but my sister always tells me I sound the best when no one else is around. How about we do ‘until we both get on each others nerves, stop sleeping together and are plotting our escapes.’ That may sound bad, but how many people do you know that are happily married? I am definitely a believer in being faithful to one another and I love the thought of sharing a home. Swipe right also if you can teach me how to better use my Tivo. I am that intelligent, caring, kind guy that your parents always told you to go for.

I’m just not cut out for this ‘until death do us part thing’. We can live our lives happily without that stressful commitment. Swipe right if you like a high powered firecracker of a woman who only recently learned how to use a Tivo.

Because when you’re dating online, which is an extremely competitive medium, you need every advantage you can get.Usually I’ll steer clear of someone’s name for the same reason I’ll steer clear of their profile …it reflects that we have wildly different interests. I will not, under any circumstance, get rid of them. I’m like Adam Levine, but without all the tattoos, the womanizing and the millions of bucks. Online dating isn’t usually my thing, but I lost a bet so here I am. As long as you’re not bossy or rude, we will get along just fine. You friends will absolutely adore me and your ex-boyfriends will moderately show distaste for me. I’m definitely here to sweep the right girl off of her feet if I am given the chance. I also volunteer at my local pet shelter on the weekends. I share my apartment with my cat, Joker, who I share all of my secrets with. I have a consistent urge to do everything properly all of the time. I like to chant by myself late at night in the candlelight. I am so good at cooking that I should be on Masterchef. I take time when I do things, so if you like to rush don’t bother matching up with me. A kind, caring soul who can be open minded about the things they do in life. On our first date I’ll take you to Paris to eat escargot and drink wine on the Eiffel tower. I’m quirky, competitive and quiet most of the time. I also like to push others (in a non-violent-pushes-to-the-ground-type-of-way). I believe in having a free spirit and keeping things simple. Just kidding, we’ll probably go see a movie or visit the bar downtown. I know how to use their, they’re and there properly. This is the exact technique I use when writing profiles for my clients.Okay, so I know you checked out my pictures and you’re back for more. 🙂 I’m going to take the dog for a walk while you find out a little more about me here. Here are some online dating profile examples that have been huge successes…Are you trying to keep your online dating profile lighthearted, upbeat and have people LOLing in real life when they read them? Take a look at some of these funny online dating profile examples below to get started. So I’m looking for someone who can feed me and eat with me constantly. I’ve been to Budapest, Paris, Japan, South Korea, Africa and Florida (basically a foreign country). I have a great fear of heights, so don’t worry about my climbing up any fire escapes. I am not a huge fan of cooking, but I sure as hell do love to eat! However, I must say I make some pretty delicious toaster strudels upon request. I’m just a girl with a masters degree that is virtually useless. I love tea, coffee and anything else with caffeine in it. About Me: I’m easy going, a little bit lazy, but very competitive. A man who can hold his own, but doesn’t ever try to tell me what to do.

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