He’s also not quite sure why everyone who knows him is trying to figure out “what the problem is.” His parents are worried, never wasting an opportunity to ask him if he’s been dating anyone.His friends want to help, setting him up on dates every chance they get.Now it’s seven years later, his hair got bored and left, and his high school lacrosse glory isn’t part of the conversation that much these days.And he’s noticing that girls like his ex-girlfriend don’t seem to be all that into him anymore.The Misogynist doesn’t know a whole lot about the other gender, but he can tell you the exact number of them he’s slept with—214.He did quite well with girls back in his earlier days when many were in their attracted to assholes phase, but lately, only those with the lowest self-esteem seem to gravitate towards him.
His sky-high confidence carried him smoothly through college, and no one was surprised when he landed a smart, sweet, beautiful girlfriend in his early 20s.
And that’s just her public persona—at home, she’s fantastic in bed, a spectacular cook, loving, selfless, and devoted. He’s immersed in a fierce battle between his superhuman standards and his terror of being 40 and single—because 40 and single is not supposed to be part of The Total Package’s story.
Oh and she also speaks French, plays tennis, sings beautifully, reads voraciously and she’s a history buff. As long as anyone can remember, The New Lease On Life Guy had been dating his longterm girlfriend.
He appreciates all the unsolicited support, but he also thinks it would be pretty great if everyone stopped thinking there was something wrong with him.
The opposite of the previous guy, The Aggressively Online Dating Guy Who Can’t Believe He’s Not Married Yet can’t believe he’s not married yet.