It’s time for a relationship to come to an end when your main emotional needs are not getting met, and haven’t been getting met for a while.
To be fair and responsible, an unhappy partner must be sure that the problem behavior has become a true pattern, rather than an isolated event.
You need to decide the time frame that is acceptable to you, and then wait.
At the end of that time period, you’ll have your answer, and that answer should determine whether it’s time to stay or go.
Men and women have the hardest time with this issue, as they’re usually too focused on sex appeal and personality ‘sparks,’ and focusing too little on the factors that actually matter the most.
Simply put, the most important characteristics are kindness, reliability, and emotional stability.
What is the primary purpose of a romantic relationship?Ultimately, asking yourself these five questions can make an enormous difference in your future relationships.I go into greater detail on these issues in my book, but these questions provide a great starting point.If I could jump through the computer screen for emphasis, I would do it to underscore the importance of this issue. I spend a lot of time working with clients who believe that they need to feel that excited ‘spark’ when they first meet someone, or otherwise they know in their bones that they’d never want to be in a relationship with the new person. In fact, if you’re someone who has a history of feeling unhappy or unfulfilled in your relationships, you need to walk when you meet someone witi whom you feel a serious spark.In such cases, the spark signifies that there is a part of you that is afraid that you couldn’t ‘get’ him or her to be with you, which triggers excitement and the attempts to try to prove to yourself that you’re good enough to get him or her to be with you.Meanwhile, in bad relationships, the relationships actually drain both partners and hold them back from what they could otherwise be doing to advance themselves and to keep evolving as individuals.What is the main difference between a good relationship and a bad relationship?Once you’ve noticed that it’s a bona fide pattern, talk to your partner and be specific about the behaviors that you need to change.Next, give your partner some time to change, and this may take some time —a matter of months.I remember one guy I had so much chemistry with in college that all of our professors assumed we were a major item, but I knew I simply could not let myself so much as linger in a hug w/ him b/c the physical and intellectual spark was in danger of blinding me to some irreconcilable divergent paths.Even though there was some substance to it and even though it felt overwhelming at times, it was merely an attraction not, ultimately, a compatibility.