How does one get into the gay BDSM bottoming and leather scene?
Among other things, our sex life was bland and we had infrequent sex at best. He says he's open to my terms—open/fuck-buddy situation—but things have quickly become relationship-ish.Now I want to experiment, explore nonmonogamy, and have crazy and fulfilling sex with whoever tickles my fancy. I like him, but I can't realistically picture us being a good LTR match. Hoping Open Peaceful Experiences Feel Unlike Loss If "someone might get hurt" is the standard you're going to apply to all future relationships—if it's a deal breaker—then you shouldn't date or fuck anyone else ever again, HOPEFUL, because there's always a chance someone is going to get hurt.I met a new guy two weeks ago, and the sex is incredible. I'm hoping we can figure out something in between—something like a sexual friendship where we enjoy and support each other and experiment together without tying ourselves down—but I have found very little evidence of such undefined relationships working without someone getting hurt. The fact that hurt is always a possibility is no excuse for hurting others needlessly or maliciously; we should be thoughtful and conscientious about other people's feelings."Eighty percent of success is just showing up," someone or other once said.The adage applies to romantic/sexual success as well as professional success, SACK, but showing up easily accounts for 90 percent of success in the BDSM/leather/fetish scene.It provided an easy way into the community, and it helped me meet new people, make new friends, and find trustworthy play partners.If you're a tad shy and work better online, these contingents have Facebook groups or Fet Life pages you can join.And if you do want to explore bondage, take precautions.Never get tied up in your own home by someone you don't know."It's a site where you can create a profile, window-shop for a play buddy, and 'check his references.' Even better, if you can, go to a public event like IML, MAL, or CLAW, or to a play party like the New York Bondage Club, where you can participate in a monitored space with other people around, or just watch the action.Don't forget the motto 'safe, sane, and consensual,' and be sure to have a safe word!