Rachel, 28 "I am very blunt when I'm not interested.
I don't have to do that very often, though, because I'm also very blunt when I don't want to give someone my number.
The reason I give is true about 70 percent of the time; the only ones I lie to are the really nice ones where there was just no chemistry, because men never believe there was no chemistry if were attracted to you.
I have a really nasty habit (working on it) of bailing on a date hours before it's supposed to happen, usually with the old, 'Oh shit, I'm sorry, my boss just told me I have to work late. But yes, I am rude and terrible, and I'm sure my karma is so stacked against me at this point that I will be single for life." Lauren, 28 "When a guy asks me on a date over text I pull the awkward, 'Suuuure, let's find a dayyyy,' and then am vague, noncommittal, and generally annoying until we can both agree that life is SO crazy right now and...*FADED* because I'm nonconfrontational and don't know how to be a real person.
But dating apps are one thing - would you ghost someone after you'd met up in person and gone on an actual date? James: I see, so you're saying that if you approach it from a basic manners point of view then that it's best to be upfront, even if it's easier for one person if they just ghost? Sometimes you both know the relationship isn't going anywhere after that date and that's fine - things may just fizzle out.
But if they're still asking questions and expressing interest, simply not replying is pretty low, don't you think? Rachel: One day you may feel smitten with someone after the most magical first date of all time, and how crushed would you feel if she just stopped replying to your messages a day or two later?
If you have somehow been living under a rock in a cave at the bottom of the ocean and don’t in fact know what ghosting is (and no, non-single people, you have no excuse to be ignorant of this cultural phenomenon), allow me to explain: Ghosting is simply when you stop replying to someone’s messages. I sat down with James, a 31-year-old single office worker, to grill him on why he ghosts women… I do it a few times every week and I genuinely don't feel guilty about it. Rachel: So you think ghosting is the kinder option than telling someone you're no longer interested? But sometimes there might be one I actually like and then it's a bit gutting if he just stops replying. James: Dating apps turn everyone into little emperors. So pre-dating apps (at 31 I'm positively prehistoric) you'd be a lot less fussy. James: If I've had a bad experience of someone who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, does that make it a bit more justifiable? James: I, very politely, told a white lie and said I wasn't ready to date so soon after my last relationship. Although I question the truth behind it I was glad to have some closure (and was never going to contact him again and again! But to me, the sadness comes from unrequited affection, rather than how they did it.
It could be on a dating app after just a few messages, after moving to Whats App or even after meeting up in person. Now I've got less tolerance when it comes to trying to find common ground with them. Everyone has to be attracted to someone physically, so if I re-examine someone's profile pictures and come to the conclusion that they're using flattering angles to hide how they really look, then I'd likely ghost for that too. She said that was fine, but over the next seven days I received four messages through four different social media sites, with attempts to change my mind. It's just as disheartening to hear 'there wasn't a spark' as there is to not receiving a response to a Whats App message. And I suppose if they do ghost you, that's as good as them saying they're not interested in you for whatever reason it may be.