issues, especially issues around dating white people (mental/health effects of internalized racism, institutionalized racism, the types of micro-aggressions I may be likely to commit.) When I date people with less money, I pay for shit.
Laurie Penny: ‘Women shouldn’t apologise for the pitter-patter of tiny carbon footprints’I’ll go on dates with guys, who are like “Yeah, I’d like my wife to take my last name, cook for me, and iron my underpants, but I’d never date someone who just wanted to be a stay at home wife. Fortunately, a ‘Jimmy Lipton’ in the comments was kind enough to enlighten everyone what was actually happening: Christian women(white ones mostly) have become very useless, because they have this super perfect version of a man that makes them feel good all the time, never saying the wrong thing. This list is more just a superficial poking around of the problem.Women are frequently more reciprocative, but men often seem me, by having nice shit, or looking good, or pulling in bank. I’ve dated a few guys who want kids, so I’ve devoted some time pondering what men who want kids need. But, they almost never take a look at my life and ask themselves “what is Emma missing, and how could I fill that role? And, I dunno, maybe it’s like, co-dependent of me or something, but when I don’t do it my relationships don’t work. It’s probably all going to go to waste when I have a kid on my own, but maybe someone will find some of it useful: Like, I know I said some bleak shit about men ever getting to have kids, but I also feel like if you devote any conscious effort in this direction whatsoever, you’ll be ahead of 90% of men. That said, I’ve devoted a lot of time and energy to the problem of dating, and I’m still single, so you know. It’s a problem that will require all of our courage, confidence and creativity to solve. They end up settling down for some gay ass hipster boy or Justin Bieber or man-bun douche.It’s a problem that affects many of our brothers in Christ—it might even be affecting you. My father has many memories of giving the cute girl from youth group a ride home on the handlebars of his bicycle, while my grandfather had something of a reputation for dancing with all the eligible young ladies at Christian fundraisers. Here’s the 100% HONEST truth from a man’s perspective. Let’s say a man is part of a church community containing several single women around his age.In fact, many fertility problems we ascribe to maternal age may actually be exaggerated.Because women usually date men older than them, the trouble they have conceiving is due to the age of both partners. I’m getting a bit bored dating 35 year olds who want kids “one day.” Truthfully, more than anything else, it’s the complete lack of effort that’s really off-putting. Option 1 is “trapping” some guy into having kids with me because he lacks the self awareness to plan for it himself.However, one thing that bugs me about being a single mother, weirdly, is concern for these childish men. I remember, when I was breaking up with one of my exes years ago, he listed all the ways I made his life better when trying to convince me not to go. When I’m with women, I read about health issues that effect lesbian demographics (higher rates of breast cancer, obesity, and depression.) When I’m with men, I read about health issues that effect straight men (coronary issues, blood pressure, and emotional issues esp.Sperm donors have *tons* of kids — this guy apparently had 800. As more and more women choose single motherhood, fewer and fewer men will get to have children because these “super donors” are having so many. And I asked him, “but how do you think you make my life better? around anger.) When I date people of color, I research POC health/discrimination/etc.