So we began listening to the many voices of instruction and took away one really important truth that, I believe, is central to the whole discussion of dating, courtship, marriage, and our children. In , a central theme I discussed is the importance of relationship building beginning before birth so that mentoring our children through the big decisions of life will be a natural, organic process.Too often we believe that once children reach a certain age, we are supposed to sit on the sidelines and watch them makes choices, for good or for bad, without giving them any input. Scripture commands us to practice the one anothers of Scripture with our brothers and sisters in Christ, beginning with our precious children!What exactly does it mean for parents to be “involved”?My landlady, Linda, once told me a story about her relationship with her own daughter.No “I told you so,” no pointed looks, no judgement. When I was in college I met a young man named Sean.Sean was not homeschooled, but in other ways his background was similar to my own.
I stopped coming home because they made living there an utter torture of guilt and manipulation.But we also knew we had not always chosen wisely along the way and hoped to see our children avoid some of the bumps in the road we had encountered.Isn’t it interesting that often parents will do this with children when it comes to making career or educational choices, involvement in extracurricular activities, and financial decisions but it is hands off when it comes to dating and marriage?It seems when her daughter was a young adult she entered a relationship that soon became abusive.Linda wanted her daughter out of the situation, but her daughter was insistent that she loved her boyfriend and that the relationship was fine.Sean and I quickly gravitated toward each other, and eventually our friends took us aside separately and told us we were perfect for each other and really should try making a go of it.So Sean and I approached my father about beginning a “courtship,” given that that was what I had been raised to expect.Linda knew that trying to convince her daughter to leave the relationship would likely make her daughter pull away from her, so she simply voiced her concerns in a natural way and then dropped it.Then, instead of trying to extricate her daughter, Linda focused on for her daughter.My family almost didn’t come to my wedding, and when my parents decided to come at the last minute, they chose to sit in the back.My siblings were not allowed to be in the ceremony.