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Longform or shortform (I always choose longform, but I still deliberate). Which is why I have decided to reveal my dating-with-anxiety tips. These tips have been tested and approved by me, the anxious babe that manages to still date and get laid. This probably takes place on Tinder for most of you (if you’re anxious, I’m going to operate under the assumption that asking a girl out in person will make you vomit, I’ll help with that another time). Getting to the date right away will alleviate some of your anxiety. If I know I look good, that’s one less thing to worry about. I know it seems like an improbability when you’re too anxious to even pronounce the name of the Entrée you want, but there is a possibility you will get laid tonight.

Adult or trapped in adolescence (the latter, sadly)? You might be thinking, how does a gal that suffers from soul-crushing anxiety and social awkwardness become Carrie Lezshaw, an expert in sex and dating? For me, messaging back and forth is a waste of time. “I think you seem cool and would love to get a drink sometime if you’re interested.” I know this seems daunting, but it has a success rate (article coming soon). A fresh spray tan and eyelash extensions always seem to soothe my anxiety. So just apply my rule to whatever you do to prepare for sex.

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of going on a date sends me into an anxious spiral. Don’t be the girl frantically prepping for sex in the bar bathroom.

I had the bright idea to ask women out right away on Tinder the other day, and as soon as I got an affirmative response, I sprinted to the bathroom*. As someone who loves all things black and spikey, but also loves all things pink and fluffy; who loves attention, but is painfully shy; who hates clinginess, but loves affection; who gets violently ill before the party, but thrives once I’m there; it only makes sense that I love dating, but it f*cking terrifies me. I’ve made this mistake before, thinking there is no way I’m going to have sex on the first date. Because at the end of the day, we’re all just horny dykes, darling. There are two ways that I have managed my crippling pre-date anxiety.

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