I processed this and the next day told him that we probably shouldn’t talk or see each other anymore.My rationale was that I was too emotionally caught up and didn’t know when he would have the ‘capacity.’ He was in utter shock!I have been dating a man for about 5 months and everything is pretty good.He was married for 10 years and has been divorced for about 2. We go out often, I’ve been introduced to the family and he to mine, and he treats me like I’m his girlfriend.All I can say is (from what you’ve told me) is that he sounds like he probably had a rough time with his first marriage and wants to be extra careful this time around.Or maybe he believes that the dating dynamic works a lot better for him than the committed relationship dynamic at this point in time.He continues to treat me well, but in the back of my mind I’m scared things aren’t going to change and that I’m wasting my time.I want to have kids and he knows this (and says this is fine) so this further complicates the situation because I don’t want to waste these years with someone who doesn’t have the capacity to commit at this time.
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I understand your concerns though – you don’t want to waste your time with a relationship that won’t work out, especially since you want to be a mother someday.
I can’t really help you make the call on whether to stay or leave.
His ex still gives him a hard time, but he says that he has moved on. Last week I bought up the subject and the answer wasn’t what I expected.
He told me how great I was and that he loved what we have, but at this time, he didn’t have the capacity to commit to more.