I felt it would never be OK and to ask him to work on our relationship would be deceptive, holding out false hope. we even went on a family vacation which I will forever remember as the worst vacation I’ve been on.
It quickly became evident to me that I couldn’t work on our relationship. We did not discuss a separation (which may have been helpful) and nor did we discuss staying together to raise our children.
Make a clear copy of all tax returns, loan applications, wills, trusts, financial statements, banking information, brokerage statements, loan documents, credit card statements, deeds to real property, car registration, insurance inventories, and insurance policies.
Also, copy records that you can use to trace your separate property, such as an inheritance or gift from your family.
Maybe there’s things that we can change.” And he said, “No, you’re not going to change and it won’t work.”Also at that point we had actually decided that we would stay together for the kids. There’s no love or you have no more love but we can still stay together for the kids because they’re still pretty young.”That was okay for a couple of months and then at Christmas time we went to my parents for Christmas and he was very uncomfortable there, couldn’t wait to get out of there.
When we did go home after, he went out by himself and didn’t come home for about three days. I was the one to say, “I don’t love you anymore,” that I wanted a divorce. It wasn’t that he didn’t know my deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction with our marriage but maybe he hadn’t taken our previous conversations seriously enough.
When your grief is overwhelming, go home or to a friend’s house, not to your attorney, who is billing you at his normal hourly rate. Even if you hope that you will eventually be able to reconcile with your ex, don’t bend over backwards to make it happen. Vow never to worry in the dark—if you can’t sleep, turn on the light, pick up a pencil and paper, and write down your worries.Remember: there’s nothing like new knowledge and a fulfilling career to bolster your self-esteem. Engage a forensic accountant if you think there might be hidden assets. Hire a divorce financial professional to help determine the best settlement options for you.Don’t skimp now on matters that will affect the rest of your life.Listen to your attorney, but make your own decisions. During divorce, prepare yourself mentally for the worst that can happen. If your ex remarries within two weeks, moves to Tahiti, and/or refuses to pay any support? Divorce is an excellent time to get some career counseling at the local job center, university, or community college. Divorce can be very complicated, so don’t try to do it all yourself.This is your divorce—so take control of the process! Plan for the worst so what actually happens will seem easy by comparison. Prepare for the expense of tuition and books while you get your career on track. Hire an attorney who can give you excellent advice—even if he or she isn’t the most inexpensive.But I was definitely surprised that he didn’t love me anymore.I thought maybe he felt that there were things that we needed to work, but just to say that was a jolt. I took a few days to think about it and I came back to him and said, “Let’s get some counseling.Child support may not be adequate to cover the true costs of child rearing, and she might have lost many important years of career growth, making it difficult for her to get back on her feet after divorce. By familiarizing yourself with the twelve financial pitfalls of divorce, you can save yourself a lot of heartbreak—and hassle—in the future. Legal fees, court costs, therapist bills, new living expenses, and myriad other costs will drain your financial resources.Money previously used to support one household must now stretch to support two. Divorce is a long, complicated process that requires careful preparation.Don’t separate until after it arrives, so it will be community property.Think about Social Security: If you’ve been married nine years, you might want to stick out the last year, so you can collect on your ex’s earnings record.