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Did you know that when your teenager texts "8," he -- or she -- is suggesting oral sex? "Some of these are absolutely hilarious," writes "First Cuts," who posted the link to the online aggregator site Digg. "I honestly have to say I have never seen most of these terms," says Sascha Segan of PC Magazine.

That's according to a new list entitled "Top 50 Text Acronyms Parents Should Know," which is is making its way around the Internet and has caught the eye of some local TV news reporters. Many people who see the list wind up howling with laughter, since many of the terms are completely unknown to most people, teenaged or otherwise.

And all of them are looking for an opportunity to betray their spouses. But I wanted to find out what sort of woman uses such a site.

So I paid £119 for a month's membership, giving me an entre to thousands of faithless females.

"Most kids are going to have terms that only they and their small group of friends understand," says Segan.

"I want a man with a personality and looks to take my breath away." These are the requirements of the dark-haired, dark-eyed, 37-year-old Asian beauty who has sent me her romantic wish list.

"There are spikes in the amount of usage for each acronym, and regional variations," she adds.

"Something that's being used on the West Coast, for example, won't be in the East, and the South may use terms that aren't common in the Pacific Northwest.

It may sound like an unpleasant niche website for a handful of amoral people to whom wedding vows never meant very much. A super secret mission, usually only involving two people who know each other well, that always involves some level of crime and/or shenanigans.Usually kept secret between the partakers to avoid getting into trouble.Mission is always completed successfully because of the wit and planning that is carefully thought through before attempting the mission.A super secret mission is never to harm anyone or anything physically and is usually done for the justice of the people or someone that has been done wrong."But a lot of the other stuff is just laughably out of date."'ASL' for age/sex/location -- that's been used since I was on chat rooms as a kid," he adds. And '1337' for 'elite' -- that's old-fashioned geekspeak, and when I mention it to kids these days, they have no idea what I mean." Net does have a longer list of commonly used text terms, which Segan says is more useful.She wants instant gratification even though we've exchanged only a few words online.But in the modern world, in which the internet has become a vehicle for all manner of impropriety, she regards this kind of behaviour as perfectly acceptable.Reading it on my laptop in the aptly named Cafe Affaire in central London, I consider what she really wants: a no-strings-attached sexual relationship.What I don't know is how her husband will feel about it. Aside from the little matter of her marital status, she also believes I have a wife, but she doesn't care.

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