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In general, this is a very disempowering way to live life – you are essentially shackling your happiness to the actions of a guy (and at the moment, it doesn’t even seem like he’s doing a good job delivering on what you want him to do.) Something to consider is if it’s just a matter of your guy’s texting habits – take our “What’s His ‘Texting Style’ Mean?” Quiz and see what his texting habits mean about your relationship.Nobody is forcing you to be in a relationship with this guy and if he’s not putting in the effort to communicate with you, you’re going to be far better off filling your time with other ways to be happy (versus what many women do…which is to stress over the guy more and more, which makes the guy even more of a fixation point, invests her in him more emotionally, etc.) I would highly encourage you to read the comments and discussions from different women who have experienced their guy not texting back.

Rather, I’m recommending that you change how you think about things and, therefore, the needy behaviors and ways of acting naturally disappear. It’s believing that you “need” the other person to act a certain way, be a certain way, do specific things or say specific things… There’s nothing wrong with having preference for what you want and only settling for what you want. The problem with the needy mindset is that when you’re not getting what you want, you have a strong negative reaction because you think of his specific behavior as something you “need” in order to be OK… So bear in mind that this response to you is from the context that you’ve repeatedly brought this up as an issue and there’s been no change in his behavior.On the other hand, nobody is going to admire, respect or prioritize a doormat (who will put up with anything because they’re afraid of losing the other person and desperate for their attention, love and validation).Bottom line: Don’t accept or ignore behavior that you don’t want…The times in my life that I would go MIA on a text message would be: 1) If I wasn’t that into her. The reason for that is simple – when you call a guy out on something (‘why didn’t you call? I think I speak for all guys when I say avoid acting needy at all costs.Neediness has repelled me away from more women than I care to disclose. A few clarifying points: I know the term “neediness” gets thrown around a lot these days, so I want to be really specific in how I define it. It finds a way to telegraph itself no matter how much the person tries not to “act needy”.I don’t understand…we will be texting back and forth for a few, then nothing…air silence! I would say that we guys prefer text because it makes it easier to avoid talking to someone when we don’t feel like it.Speaking for myself, there have been times when I’ve bailed on responding to a text simply because I’m busy with something else.This is an example of not accepting behavior that you don’t want conflict.If he doesn’t change and you continue to feel frustrated by his behavior then remember that you can always drop him and move on.That’s a much better way to be it’s far more attractive to the guy as well.When you don’t let the guy in your life be a source of disappointment, you’ll not only save yourself from heartache, worry and misery… I am sincerely grateful for all the mail’s it has helped me in my present distance relationship though I still have some challenges facing me.

74 comments

  1. Text messaging can actually be a very useful dating tool. Read on to learn the do's and don'ts of how to make text messaging and online dating work for you.

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  3. I've been thinking a lot lately about the way we communicate, particularly as it pertains to dating -- a relatively new world for me after a decade of se.

  4. Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner.

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