If you really won’t date someone your own age (or a few years older or younger), ask yourself what’s going on when you, a 35-year-old grown-ass man, feel like you would have more in common with a woman who just reached legal drinking age than with a woman two years your senior, who is much more likely to be in a similar place career- and experience-wise.
And why do you, a 23-year-old, want to date someone who could technically be your father if 16 & Pregnant had existed in the 70s? And also realize that while relationships with large age differences can of course be happy and successful, there is usually something wrong with a person who refuses to engage romantically with anyone in their peer group, and instead seeks out a relationship that will involve serious differences in experience and power.
The obvious points of picking photos are to make them (1) flattering, and (2) accurate.
That photo where your skin looks all glowy and you can’t see your cankles? But the photo from 6 years, 25 pounds and two high-stress jobs ago?
If you like low-key creative types, share what it is you make. Put forward the version of yourself that’s most attractive to the person you’re trying to see naked.Talking about yourself, at this point, should be limited, and related to the person you're interested in.**Bonus advice: Never, for the love of god, describe yourself (whether in your profile, or in messages) as a "kick-ass" ANYTHING. A few years back, the OKCupid blog posted a really helpful index of what kinds of messages get responses — and which ones don't.Let me tell you, nobody on that site is reading it. There's lots of good stuff here — write using real words and real sentences; don't compliment their looks up front; bring up specific interests.Yes, you looked great, but you want to date someone who is attracted to you right now.So select photos that look good, but could also in some universe be reasonably understood to be you.Relatedly: Select photos where you can actually see what you look like.Remember, the whole point of your photo is for someone to evaluate whether or not they want to sex you.You might as well find out right away if your senses of humor* line up.*Bonus advice: Please don't just write "I have a good sense of humor" and expect everyone to believe you. It's good to express enthusiasm for shared interests, but don't make them up, and don't be weird about it.You can only get so excited about both liking pizza. ), is really into the idea that guys' messages to girls' should assume brain-deadness on the part of the recipients: "You need to make it easy for women and help them think to avoid ending up with message abandonment issues," he writes, suggesting that guys send girls messages that ask questions but also partially answer them, so it isn't too hard or whatever. Though much of what you'll find among internet advice on internet dating is bad, some of it is pretty spot-on and helpful.A bit of humorous honesty (you’re a literary snob who secretly liked the Twilight series; you’re a food blogger who once ate dog food as a kid) is a plus.Too-soon too-intense over-sharing honesty (you’re experimenting with a new anti-depressant and it’s not going so well; your last breakup was devastating and now you hate all men and can’t have sex without bursting into tears; you sometimes find yourself sexually aroused by water buffalo) is not.